My last word for this blog is Asians

I know it is sad but all good things must come to an end so I will dedicate my last blog to Asians. We all know Arnold Schwarzenegger is pretty strong before he got lazy and became the governor of California, well this Chinese guy named Xie Zhongcai was able to pull a minivan with his ears and eye lids at Anhui, China. Surprised? There is only one word to describe it: amazing. Or how Stephen Colbert would describe it “It’s massive”. So how did he do it? As you can see in the picture, he tied a rope from a minivan to his ears and start pulling. But that is not what he is all capable of. His eye lids are just as strong. Next he used a device and attached it to his eye lids and pulled the same minivan. That is just to show you big things do come in small package. For example, most Asians may look small and timid but we are compact (as in strong) and fierce (when needed). However, I do not think Arnold Schwarzenegger’s eye lids or ears are capable of moving something as massive as a minivan.




However Xie Zhongcai was not the only one that can pull minivan with special ears or eye lids. Zhang Tingting who was just as amazing as or maybe better than Xie Zhongcai pulled 10 cars with her pig tails in Tongzhou district, Beijin. This 50 years old woman who is also old kung fu master and a Buddhist as you see can accomplish this feat even though she is at the age of a grandmother. Does this make you wonder if your grandmother can perform cool tricks like Zhang can? If you do not believe me here is the video. Like they say action speak louder than words.

This week word is Love.

I believed I had explained how vicious Asian women are, especially when they get married. But hey, people believed love can conquer just about anything such as age, gender, and sometimes a good beating. Telegraph news presents a 32 year old man in China got beaten by his wife at least once a week. According to Mr. Zhang, he often gets into an argument with his wife, who had been studying martial arts at young age, and what followed were bruises and battle scars afterward because he does want to lose any arguments. Because. Of course you would think there is a possible divorce coming for domestic violence, but Zhang still loves his wife. He noted he suffered this abuse while they were dating, but he likes he style. I guess he lost too many brain cells to make any logical decisions. After all those beating he decided he body could not take it anymore and formulated a contract. This contract states if his wife ever resorts to violence he would have to returns to her parents’ home for 3 days. I guess that a smart decision: he rather gets a cold war rather than hot war.



Like I said some people out there believes love can conquer anything. Well for this Japanese man, Sal9000, it is virtual reality. This guy decided to marry Nene Anegasaki, a fictional woman in a game called, Love Plus. This is a dating simulation game that allows the player to woo a virtual girlfriend. Sal900 was finally to tie at Guam, a country that will let people marry anything, since Japan prohibited the marriage of man and video game. According to online sources he posted a stream of this even on Nico Nico Douga, similar to YouTube. After the mock weeding at Guam, he came back to Japan and had an official reception including a real priest (How did you get a priest?). I guess virtual wife is better than real wife, at least he won’t end up with bruises like the first guy.

Word of the week is food

Inevitably everyone will crave for food sooner or later, but what are the chances for bean flavored beverages. I am Chinese and my people love beans. It does not matter what type dish or beverage they will order/buy it. Personally I hated it and I could not understand their taste bud. Ultimately I had to ask “Do beans taste good?” My parents told me yes. Of course I was skeptical about their answers because my mother is a health freak and she forces us, including our father, to eat whatever she deemed fit. Unfortunately I may be wrong. Bean flavored Pepsi was released in Japan recently. I have heard of tea flavored cola in Asia but bean flavored cola is just outrageous. Apparently bean flavored food consumptions have been so popular and high demanded, they were able to force Pepsi into making a bean flavored cola. I hate to admit but maybe my parents are right: most Asians like beans.





Ever wonder what is our favorite communist Kim Jong Il doing in North Korea? Maybe plotting another threat to take over the world? Apparently food is on top of his agenda. According to telegraph news he sent a group of North Korean chefs to Naples and Rome to learn authentic recipes and techniques to make Italian food. Now he can enjoy authentic Italian food without traveling halfway way across the world and threatened Italy to make him food. Or did he? "Our people should be also allowed to enjoy the world-famous food," claimed Kim. Which made me wonder. Wasn’t there a shortage of food lately in North Korea. If memory serve me correctly he also had Italian chefs sent from Italy to teach his military officers to make pizza, so the country (riches) can enjoy western delicacies. I guess his country is not really starving. At the same time he was saving his food he was able to threaten US to test his long distance rocket at the test site. I guess he could do both, enjoying food and destroy the world at the same time.

Source

I think he is a NINJA!!!!!!!!

We all know our world is filled with unique people. Some people just want to mix in with the society. That is what Liu Bolin does the best. Bolin is Chinese artist who love to disappear in his work. Here is an example:



Clearly you can see he does lots of infiltration in china. I mean why else you need to blend in behind the cannon unless you want to steal. Obviously, there is ninja’s blood in his vein. Before every mission he would spend 10 hours painting himself with expert precision making him unnoticeable anywhere he goes. But sometimes a mission is just too much for one guy, which is why he has his own stealth unit to finish the job.



His spying technique would put the many investigation organization to shame by going up close and personal. Seriously no one would notice him even if you were next to him by the bus stop.




But sometimes it is good to have people notice you especially if you are on the road or on the track or in front of a bull dozer. Just make you sure you don’t become another road kill that is barely noticeable even after death.





Hey sometimes things just do not the way you think it would go, but what matters is perseverance. Even if Bolin was caught he would not budge. Thus leave the law enforcer even more confused and the audience more awed.



Hopefully next time you see the flag of China, you would not think of ninjas, but Lui Bolin.

Butt bewares..............

I like to begin today’s story with three words: “Made in China”
The title of today article is Anal Penetrating Chair Kills Teen. This article has no perverted implication embedded in it. Let this news be a lesson to what type of computer chair you should and should not buy.
This article focus a young Chinese boy got killed by his beloved computer chair. Just like me, many of the audience will get the same reaction: “what!?!?!” This bizarre incident had happened before but he was the first fatality. It was report stated the boy sat down on his computer and the next thing he exploded off his computer chair with metal chunks up his butt. The boy in tremendous butt pain was able to make it to his phone and call his father. The ambulant arrived at his home no time but was not able to make it to the swiftly causing the victim to die in the ambulance.

Death Chair

You might ask how did the chair exploded? Apparently the base of the computer chair was a high pressured gas cylinder installed in it so the chair can adjust its height. Then the pressurized gas was released and causes the explosion and shot “stuffs” into this poor Chinese boy’s anal. Which lead to another question: why did the containment failed? We found out that there were three variables:
1. Non-nitrogenous gases contaminated the cylinder of the chair.
2. Deficient materials in the cylinder reduced the durability of the part.
3. The cylinder was not completely airtight.
Just 2007 the computer chair preyed on a 68 years old victim’s anal, fortunately the elderly man survived more or less. As you can see gas cylinder base computer chair is merciless. After reading this article I wonder where did all of these computer chairs comes from. You guessed it right, it was MADE IN CHINA. For safety reasons this article recommended buying oil-based hydraulic base chair that way you won’t have “stuff” launching up your anal. Now I will end up this story with two words: “anal assassination”.

Booo!

No video this week boo…………….
Since it is Halloween I believe some scary fact is more appropriate for this occasion. Here is the scary fact quote:” The reason that Asian students outperform their peers in the classroom has nothing to do with how they were born”. (article) Now the whole social structure of the America society will fall! (cough: sarcasm). There is you go Asians are not geniuses. You might ask how is that possible? To answer that question you have to blame it on their parents. Asian parents love to use scary fact such as you will be garbage man for the rest of your life if you do not work hard in school. Think about how terrified a 5 year old child hear that from your parent. But a once scary fact does not budge you anymore they move on to the dictator mode or “Respect your elders and obey your parents” strategy like this article has described.
So in this condition basically if you don’t do as I say there will be a very bad consequence. This way they can strike fear in your mind so you will do as they say. What makes it terrifying is you do not know what they can do to you and sometime you expect for the worst almost like you are self destructing inside. This tactic is so effective they it got me going for years. Because of all those, most Asians had to strive in school. It would be very unlikely they would not succeed because they spent their entire life dedicating (locked up) for academic, including their parents in the background supporting (pressuring) them or “assume the role of educator after school hours”. Unlike most people they would American they have extra curriculums outside.
So if you want your next generation to attend schools like Harvard and Yale, this article by Dr. Soo Kim Abboud, Jane Kim is the best remedy for your children. They will mostly likely turn out to be like person below.

Funny Vids

I love how everyone (except Asian) always assume all Asian are good at ping pong. What is more funny that some Asian really do believe the stereotype. Just watch this video, called Matrix ping pong. It has so much exaggeration on Asian ping pong. This video make Asian look absolutely invincible in ping pong. Hitting the ping pong ball with weird poses and even has law defying power to stand on the wall vertically. If only Asians are THAT good in ping pong, we would not suck as much in other sports. It just make me laugh so hard.

Ever wonder what Sumos do besides wrestling and gaining weight. Well here is a funny Japanese commercial for Subaru. (warning: Guys would be scarred for life) The sexy bunch of fat Sumos washing a Subaru in slow motion is just incredible. Never would have imagine fat guys butt naked getting wet. But this Video went beyond everyone's imagination. Hopefully whats going on in Japan stays in Japan.

Everyone knows Asia has the highest population density compared to the world. But no one knows how to put it to good use. Watch this video and you know what I mean. Isn't it great if you can command a mob of people to do your bidding. Have them rush at random people just to see their terrifying reaction is just priceless. Or maybe have 100 people stalk you and then appear in a obscure street is just so funny. It just makes me want to do this someday.

What can Asian women really do...............

When people say Asian women you usually think small cute round eyes women. Well guys do not be fooled by their a cute appearance. I myself witnessed it first hand, they are wolves under sheeps' skin. Even though the Asian society preferred males over female (male dominance). Here I have a clip I found in youtube showing just what happens when Asian women explodes.

Video 1

What did I tell you. Look at that poor guy (though he deserved it) beaten to a pulp. Asian girls are relentless because their first move is to immobilize you by kicking the you know what between your legs. Once you are temporary paralyzed due to the tremendous pain, they gather around you and give you a gang beat down. Even the grandma is vicious, she can go as far as chucking a cash register at you. Hopefully that guy learn his lesson not to piss off Asians especially the women. Don't believe me? Check the next clip.

Video 2

Look how she take advantage of people, then once you have your back turned around she kicks you right in the balls. Like she has described "diversion". Does it work? Yes! Because you would never expect a cute little Asian girl to attack you. I hope this clip will give the wisdom not to mess with Asian girls.

Top 10 Asian Stereotype from this guy.......

Video


Ok this one is simple. He gonna name some Asian stereotypes and I will answer them. From #10 to #1.

#10- Asians are smart and are good at Math.

Answer: False. There is balance in the world. For example some people are athletic and some aren't. And just like Asians there are some smart Asians and there are also not so bright Asians. Like said before, white/black people who sat around me during math exams have failed including me.

#9- Asians always throw up their peace signs.

Answer: False. I don't know where this comes from but Asian DO NOT do peace signs. Here are some proofs:




#8- Asians eat dogs.

Answer: False, but you can try and prove me wrong. I have owned 5 dogs so far and none them have ever come close into my belly.

#7- Asians love Anime.

Answer: Maybe. I am not sure about this one. I know anime are originated in Japan, so I am guessing they do, because I used to be so obsessed with Dragon Ball and Pokemon. Wait white people also like anime as well.

#6- All Asians are video game nerds.

Answer: Very untrue. I do love video games but to be video game nerds I believe you will have to play non stop (3-4 hrs or more). Its almost impossible for Asians, because their are parents are academically demanding. If you don't do as follow you get whipped.


(One angry Asian)

#5- All Asians look alike.

Answer: Maybe. I think I know where this comes from because sometime I can't tell white/black/asian people apart also. But that does not mean we looked alike. Each individual is unique. Here are some PICS.



#4- Asians are bad drivers.

Answer: False. Japanese discover drifting. If they were bad at driving, how the hell the drift? Read this blog for more info.

#3- Asians have small....... eyes!

Answer: False. Not all Asians have small eyes. Look at pics below.


(Weird, she does not have small eyes)

#2- Asians go crazy for rice.

Answers:False. They do eat rice for most of their meals, but they do not go crazy for rice.

#1- Asians LipSync like no other.

Answer: False. I know I can't do it. You must be a trained professional.

Dat Phan!

I am not sure if any of you know this Asian comedian, Dat Phan. Well it does not matter because I will show you one of his stand up anyway. Click Here. As you can hear, he tells jokes about Asians. Like usual I will decipher his content, feel free to rebuttal.




Dat Phan is probably the funniest comedian I have heard so far in my life and I will probably will not criticize him as much because most of his jokes are legit. As much as I hate to admit but each Asian ethnicity have our own trademark or specialty. Like Dat Phan has stated; the Chinese open chinese restaurants, the Japanese make VCRs, and the Vietnamese does pedicare. Now how did that happen, even I do not know. Everyone knows Asians have their own martial styles. Similarly to Dat Phan I have also encounter people who assume all Asians know martial arts, but I do not. Just because we have Jackie Chan and Jet Li does not mean the all Asians are kunfu masters. In fact I get those remarks so much that I took time to learn some martial art just so I would not be annoyed when does remarks comes again. But you got to admit getting one of those remark while taking a leak is pretty funny.





Asian parents tend to judge by everything by it's cover, so when if they walked into a gay neighborhood they would think that the neighborhood is great. Why because the guys would be friendly towards other guys and vice versa, that is only if they did not noticed this is a gay neighborhood. Asian parents would promote gay relationship, they absolutely hated it. Because like most Asian parents, they all want to be grandparents someday, the sooner the better (Don't ask me, I don't know either). If you are gay, you definitely have just destroy their goal in life. They will hate you for life, even as far as disowning you. If you have not realized, Asians have large family (Look at China and India) because parents' of your parents followed the same tradition of having lots of grandchildren.



Savings. It is huge in an Asian family. Why? It is because they grew up starving. Back in the mid 1990s, the Asia has gone through major reformation (wars, civil wars, ect). Parents at that time could not provide sufficient foods for their family. They live through those times with fear of starvation and that fear had ingrained in them through all this time. Thus savings (coupons) became their everyday life. This is their way to fight starvation (fear). Because most Americans did not go through those hard times, it is hard for them to understand. Consequently, they joke about that and became another stereotype about Asians.

What makes it worse?

Before I began, I like to announce my beef with sosublogger.com. The content of my last post was not copy and paste from that site. Anyway that website has an enormous amount of content. It would be hard and a lot of efforts to go to that website to steal content. So before you go off and make more wild accusations, maybe read the content of my blog next time.

Anyway back to topic. Look at this guy from youtube. Click here for video. People like him contributed to the Asian stereotype the most. People like him can magnify their voice easily through the internet. Now I am not saying all of his words are false, but judging from this video I have to disagree on something. He views a lot of Asian loves to use online massive gaming terms when he tries to mimic native or fluent English speaking Asians. This leads to Asians love massive online gaming. Which is not true, a fair percentage of Asians utterly despise massive online games like world of warcraft. We do like going out and play sports like basketball or football. Secondly, we would never go insult a random bystander with quotes like," Pwnage and noob." We would never want to touch other people's penis let alone cutting off their "eggroll". Finally, we DO NOT want other people to bow to Asians. Bowing is just not an Asian thing in the twenty-first century. Asians would rather have them get down on the floor begging rather than bowing. That is if he really despises you.



Personally people do not pick fights with people because as we grow we become more mature. It seems like in the video Asians love insulting other people. That is not true! Or else some country in Asia would start many wars or all of us are like Hitler who hates people who are not German. So this concludes that people have common sense (including Asians), we do not insult random people. We do not use gaming term every time we open our mouth. Lastly Asians do like sport. By the way love basketball and football. See you next week!

How Does media/society defines Asians?

Video 1 Video 2

Before we get into a heated debate I would you like to watch one of the following video above. As you can see how the media portray of us Asians. Doesn't it make us proud and jump with joy? NO! Because Asians do not do things like the media had portrayed. Thanks to the media the mass majority begin to believe that it is proper for them to greet Orientals that way. Let me begin on what Asians DO NOT do. We DO NOT do the "hands together Buddha thing" when we greet people. Some of us might be polite and go with the flow, but if you were go to China town and do that. you won't be coming out in one piece. That is how much it annoys us. Secondly, even if you were Buddhist we still don't greet people like that. Lastly, there is a huge percentage of Asians that are Christians like my roommate for example. It is true origami originate somewhere in Asia but that does not mean we all know how to fold paper animals. In fact most of us only know how to fold paper airplanes, like many Americans. We DO NOT eat animal's genitalia, such as a brown goat's penis, to cure illnesses. We might have done that five thousand years ago but due to advance science we DO NOT go around castrating animals. Yes, that means we USE Tylenol when we are not feeling well.



Like many of you have seen the Olympics on television, you all know Asians are extremely strong in sport like ping pong. Thus the media portrays all Asians are good at ping pong. I can guarantee you that is not true because I SUCK at ping pong. Then why do Asians on television are insanely good at ping pong? In this world there is something called talent. Everyone on have their own specialty that is what makes each individual unique. Since Asia has 3/4 of the world population thus it has larger pool of talented people. The next one is huge. Many Americans believe Asians are ninjas. Unfortunately this is false. Believe me I wish I am a ninja, but no matter how hard I train to be a ninja I can never live up to the media's standard. I personally believe ninjas have been extinct (maybe 99.999999%) because guns are more efficient at killing then ninjas. Lastly I will tell you something Asians DO do; that is we Do eat rice, just as much as white people eat wheat such as bread.

Continueing

I hate how the American society portrays Asians to be very timid nature and academically superior, unfortunately that is not true. Every society has a balance of those who are bright and than those aren't. Unfortunately I am in the "not so bright category". Why? Because I am the odd one in my Asian group, all of them perform better than me academically. Because of them all the people around me in my class have failed many exams. But that is on lighter side, after once they found out that they failed their exams there comes the unnecessary troubles: harassment. You get things like " How did you failed your exams?" and " You gotta live up to your Asian quota." Let me tell something Asians aren't timid we are just peaceful people who does not want unnecessary troubles, but that does not mean we won't retaliate. I believe Jet Li or Jackie Chan can make it very clear. So how do I deal with harrassments? The answer is "*&%@# off!" ( I want this blog to be as friendly as possible.) I mean I feel bad enough already failing my exams, but I have to be constantly reminded by duesh bags who aren't exactly that bright either. Although many of you would rebuttal both Jet Li and Jackie Chan are both action movie actors and would not be credible in our case, but there are Asian gangsters out in the world believe or not. "Lesson: Don't steal cars from Asian gangster" by Jackson Holtz from The Associated Press portrays the consequences of stealing an Asian's car. It all started when four guys set out and stole a Honda Civic outside of Walmart, what they did not know was it belonged to an Asian gangster. Until the thieves found an AK-47 and a 9 mm pistol in the car. The Asian guy retaliated by sending their men out to hunt for the thieves. The thieves eventually got frightened and decided to return the car which resulted violent.

Hierarchy of the Triad

The thieves ended up in the hospital with many major injuries in their body such as broken bones and hemorrhages. This article summarize that Asian can retaliate and you should not be taken lightly. Click here for more info. Hopefully this article will give you a new perspective on Asians.

Who am I?

As the title stated," Who am I?". My name is Danny. I'm gonna leave out my last name and let you guess what ethinic I am. I came from a diverse town call Ann Arbor in Michigan,, and believe there are plenty of asians to tell. Im not gonna go in deep today but I will tell you one thing: NOT ALL ASIAN HAVE SQUINTY EYES. And we can be GANGSTER TOO.

Click here how wiki defines it